The Boundary Protection Program

The Ridiculous Hour Foundation’s February 2022 Mobile Mission

By Kat Silverglate, Founder Copyright 2022.  Cover image by Jon Tyson unsplash.com.

We had four weddings and a funeral in 2019.

When we tell folks about that year, they inevitably say: “it sounds like a movie.” These milestone events didn’t involve distant relatives or the children of close friends. They touched the nuclear core of our family. In January, my Irish twin’s youngest son got married. The next month, her oldest daughter donned the most stunning white dress, followed one month later by her beautiful baby girl’s walk down the sacred aisle. Three months later, we flanked our one and only son as he entered a sanctuary nearly 1,000 miles from home to become one with his beautiful bride. And if that’s all we chose to share about the first 180 days of 2019, one might conclude that the tension in the plot of our family movie toggled between the utter joy generated by the density of serial celebrations and the pressure-per-square-inch generated by the planning intricacies of four weddings. Without more context, it would surely make an epic family film.

But, of course, there was more. Much more.

The matriarch of our family, my beloved Mama, was in rapidly declining health before, during and after the weddings. She couldn’t attend a single one. Two weeks before wedding one, she was hospitalized. Two weeks before wedding two, she had major surgery. A month after wedding four, we had to move her from her home of 45 years so she could be supported by a higher level of care. By Thanksgiving, we were talking about Hospice. And on the 361^st day of 2019, I held her while she drew her last breath. On the 364^th day, her gaggle of grandchildren and their spouses [four freshly wed] walked behind a kilted bagpiper playing Amazing Grace as they rolled her casket into the sanctuary where she worshipped for decades. The 2019 roller coaster finally came to a screeching halt on day 365 when our entire family got off the breakneck ride and headed for the exit behind a door marked “grief.”

Here’s what I remember most vividly about 2019. I remember discovering boundary tape everywhere.

It appeared early on in a conversation with my younger sister who was boots on the ground in the same town as Mom shuttling her from one medical appointment to another. After each appointment, we’d have a sister call where we’d talk through details and next steps. The news was rarely good at this point and the fact that our older sister was weeks away from the first of three weddings weighted heavily on all of us. In private conversations with my “little,” we’d lament the circumstances: “How is she possibly going to celebrate and manage the grief of Mom’s rapid decline at the same time?” And then one day, we had an inspired idea.

Here’s how we presented it to her on our next sister call: “Just for this short wedding season, what if we handle some of the less critical decisions for Mom without including you on every intricate detail? What if you focused on your kids and the celebration and trusted us to include you if something major happens? We want to protect your celebration.”

It was as if we took a roll of bright neon boundary tape and wrapped it around our big sister. With her teary consent, she was now in the Boundary Protection Program and we were the official tape keepers.

Once her season was complete and my son’s wedding approached, my sisters took that bright beautiful boundary tape off her and wrapped it securely around me. And I gratefully allowed myself to be covered from head to toe in the ridiculous stuff. Even after the weddings, we found ourselves tangled up in the loving binding of others who were the hands and feet of Jesus offering us cover during our darkest days.   

Psalm 16:6 has a curious line I’ve read many times but have never been particularly moved by – not until I entered the Boundary Protection Program that is:  

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

surely, I have a delightful inheritance.   

Perhaps it’s the lawyer in me, but I’ve always associated boundary tape with unpleasant things. Those neon strips tied to twigs on trees scream property line disputes. The thick yellow tape with the words CAUTION or CRIME SCENE scream danger and tragedy. Let’s face it, “pleasant” isn’t on our list of first words when boundary tape shows up.

But God… God messes with our boundaries. He causes them to fall in the most pleasant places. He says to the leper, your lips can’t pollute my water. Cross that invisible line society says you can’t cross. Come and drink. He says to the hater, feel free to throw that stone at the sinner. But first, tell me about your perfection. Tell me that you are on the other side of the sin line from her. Tell me that first, because I’m going to pick up that boundary and wrap that sinner in my love. Not because she deserves it. But because she doesn’t. I’m going to turn your lines upside down. Not to keep her out, but to bring her to me. I’ll wrap you too, if you’ll welcome me.

Our Mission This Month:

In your Mission Pack, you will find three pieces of boundary tape [yellow, orange and blue] and a small ‘celebration’ envelope. Set that celebration envelope aside for now.

1. Yellow “CAUTION” Tape: The yellow caution tape reminds us that God flips the negative connotation associated with boundaries. He causes our boundary lines to fall in peasant places because He tore the boundary between God and man with His very life.  Have you welcomed Him? 

• Orange Boundary Tape: Have you ever protected another’s celebration? Wrapped them in the comfort God has given you in your times of need? The Apostle Paul reminds us that God comforts us so that we can comfort others in their troubles. Consider sending the orange boundary tape to someone who needs to declare: “I can celebrate the God of all comfort because they eased my burden in my time of need.”

• Blue Boundary Tape: If life indeed came with physical boundary tape, we would likely take grief and lament and hardship and we’d use that tape like that yellow CRIME SCENE/CAUTION tape is used. We’d put a circle around it and avoid it like the plague.  But grief and lament are as much a part of faith as joy and celebration are.  Consider using the blue boundary tape to invite others into your troubling season. The boundary protection concept only works if we consent to allowing others in. It only works if you say yes tto an offer to walk on the inside of your blue times. Your blue boundary lines. Perhaps you know someone who is going through a season of grief. Perhaps you can tell them you see their blue line. Tell them you are there when they are ready to allow someone in.

• Celebration Envelope and Pink Boundary Tape: There is one more piece of boundary tape in your mission pack.  And it is part of our celebration. We have a celebration worth protecting in February – the launch of our website, theridiculoushour.com.  The site has been a year in the making. Will you consider joining us on the inside of the pink celebration line? Will you join us in protecting this celebration through prayer and celebration? Your party envelope has all the details, and a little confetti too!  Thank you for delighting with us.  We are ridiculously grateful for you.