John Ortberg’s writings about his mentor Dallas Willard and the impact his guidance had on his spiritual formation left more than a tinge of holy jealousy in my heart. Who wouldn’t want access to a spiritual giant who could take just about any question and, without pause, drive it gracefully through God’s story arc like a professional race car driver? Tim Keller’s description of the impact Edmund Clowney had on him tapped the same longing. While more rigorous and less genteel, William Thompson Kirkpatrick’s tutelage of C.S. Lewis in logic and rhetoric comes through in the skill through which his words carve a memory track through the creases in our brains when we read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and his other wildly creative prose about the Creator of the heavens and the earth.
If you aren’t familiar with any of those names, imagine someone who has been so radically transformed by the love of Christ that most of their life has been dedicated to understanding how to share Him authentically and winsomely with anybody who has honest questions about Christianity. Millions have read their writings or heard their sermons and found some form of meaningful help in their faith journey. Spiritual formation for each one of these faithful “people helpers” included, in some form, a teacher, mentor, tutor or friend who slowed down, opened the door, and drove on with an I’ve-got-a-zillion-“stupid”-questions passenger in tow.
At seven years old, Norman Wise had a zillion questions; none of them stupid. His questions were born of pain and the type of chaos no kid should have to order.
Why does my dad drink so much? Why do my parents fight every night? Why does he get so mean and violent? Why am I even here? Why did my dad give me a foot-long, razor-sharp knife to play with? Weren’t my parents happier before I was born? Did my addition to this family cause all this insanity? Should I use this knife to kill myself?
As he contemplated suicide at the tender age of seven, a Sunday school teacher decided to do laps around the “track” of his rural northern town, slow down long enough to invite anybody in who wanted to hear about the love of Christ, and then stop to share what she knew. She decided to go to every house in his small town.
“You have to understand the context of our lives in the 1950’s to really get what a miracle her visit was. We lived in the country. In the woods. There was no 911 for a kid to call if there was trouble. No child protective services. Literally, she just showed up in the middle of my chaos. I remember her speaking John 3:16 to me and then explaining that I will never be alone if I let Him into my heart. My heart opened in the moment I realized I was gonna be loved by Him forever. As young as I was, I knew what happened in my heart was supernatural. When I told her about my suicidal thoughts, she told me I would go straight to hell if I killed myself. So, I guess her good theology about Christ saved my spiritual life and her bad theology about why I shouldn’t kill myself saved my physical life. God uses everything.”
His mother finally left his dad when she “won” a game of Russian Roulette with him pointing a loaded gun to her head.
“When the gun didn’t go off, my mom saw the insanity in the situation and decided to leave with us and divorce my father. After 17 years of marriage, the judge gave her one dollar per day per child in child support – that’s $60 a month - and no alimony. She worked two and sometimes three jobs to support us.”
Even with the insanity of her schedule, the chaos of life was gradually turning to order. Sunday worship was a priority. Norm found a sense of safety and encouragement there. School, on the other hand, was a blood, sweat and tears endeavor. Giving all the brain power he could muster to his classes, he came away with C’s and an occasional B. Six years of his middle and high school time were layered with intense speech therapy sessions to overcome a severe speech impediment. So successful was the therapy that years later a middle school teacher who was in the congregation where he delivered his first sermon came to him at the end and declared, “NOW I believe in miracles.”
“Everything about the fact that God has chosen to use me is a miracle. Nobody would look at my childhood or at my circumstances and conclude that I’m a likely candidate for speaking and writing and counseling. It would be foolish.”
But it was the miracle in his senior year that convinced him that God indeed uses the foolish things to confound the wise – in this case, literally Mr. Norman Wise. He had become obsessed with Vietnam. He started reading The Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, US News and World Report, everything he could get his hands on. The daily body counts were reported like the scores in a football game. It pierced him in the same way the chaos of his childhood pierced him. He couldn’t shake the insanity of all that death. He started to turn every class into a debate about Vietnam.
So, when Union Carbide invited schools nationally to send their best and brightest to DC to participate in a political debate over the war, the school sent Norm [who didn’t meet the academic criteria but had more knowledge and passion than anybody else in the school] and another academically brilliant student. He met Hubert Humphrey there. He did mock Congressional debates. And he lived with other students on Georgetown’s campus, including an infamous gang member who was literally running his local high school.
“He was so dangerous, the principal of his school would come to him and ask permission to make changes. They sent him to DC because his parole officer thought the activity would redirect his aggression. In one of our first encounters, he shared this nugget of street wisdom – ‘it doesn’t matter if the gun is loaded, it only matters if they think it’s loaded.’ I don’t know why he took a liking to me, but he did. After one encounter, he said ‘Norm, something’s different about you. What is it?”
They sat on the washer and dryer in the Georgetown laundry room for two hours as Norm slowed down long enough to tell him what he knew about Christ – which at that point, really wasn’t much. He knew John 3:16, so he shared that. He told his personal story. He did his best to answer other questions, but mostly he listened. And then the gang leader said, “I think we should pray for God to come into my heart.” And they did. And He did. The violent gang leader turned lamb made a 180-degree life turn. He was a new creation.
“I remember telling God, ‘if you can use me one more time the way you just used me, then you can do whatever you want with my life.’”
Dr. Norman Wise
His pastor, Reverend Pummel, asked him to be a youth leader in the church. He agreed. The youth started to attend rap sessions in the pastor’s house. It grew to 70 kids in regular attendance. Fifty kids in his public high school started attending a prayer time. He turned the study hall into a bible study. Every week, kids were giving their lives to Christ. Finally, when a woman named Penny turned to Christ, the proverbial penny dropped for Norm. God had taken him up on his bargain. It was time to hold up his end and let the Lord direct the rest of his life.
And that’s when the chaos began again. His mentor, Reverend Pummel, died two weeks before he graduated from High School leaving him $300 to attend Bible college. Bible college moved him to ask hard questions about why a good God would allow evil. He started to have suicidal thoughts again. Another trusted mentor spent time with him while he debated the purpose of his life. He emerged from that holy moment realizing that peace about the reason he is alive and will continue to live as long as the Lord allows it is summed up in Galatians 2:20. He lives because Christ lives in him. Period. The end. His life is now one of faith. That’s enough.
He becomes a straight A student in theology. People with doubts start to come to him with questions. He listens and gives them wise counsel based on what he knows at the time. He begins to ask hard questions to his teachers. To express his honest doubts. But the questions are taken as a challenge to the school’s 66 statements of belief. They cause too much chaos for the administration’s comfort. The insanity of not allowing honest debate in bible college pierces him the way the chaos of his childhood did. Keeping his honest doubts locked up made no sense. He decides to leave before they kick him out. It was three months shy of graduation.
Eventually, he heard a talk on doubt and about Francis Schaffer’s mission to create environments where individuals feel safe to ask questions and express doubt.
“That message changed my life. We must have solid theology, but we must also have honest answers to honest questions. Solid theology doesn’t shut questions down. It invites them. Not every question is a moral dodge. We are called to connect on a heart level.”
Eventually he ended up back in Florida in a home church where the pastor fell ill and the home church prayed faithfully for his healing. When Norm expressed doubt about his refusal to seek medical care, many in the group blamed Norm’s lack of faith on the pastor’s eventual death. The chaos of the rejection caused by his honest questions pierced him the way the chaos of his childhood pierced him.
Norm got married and decided to finish his education at Geneva College, very close to where his father lived. He earned a BS in Education and a BA in Biblical Theology and spent time with his dad.
"I watched the most unsavable man in my universe get sober and find God. We reconciled. God has never stopped bringing order to the chaos of my life. I was the last person to see him alive."
He adopted a beautiful son and was hired to answer letters written to Dr. James Kennedy, the founder of Coral Ridge Ministries. God put him in position to connect with doubters. To help bring order from the chaos going on in hearts and minds. He was essentially a professional doubt and pastoral counselor in training. He started to counsel people at the church while studying for his master’s in theology and then his Doctor of Ministry.
He has two more beautiful children. His doctoral thesis on pastors in pain brings him to think through a theology of counseling. Isaiah 61:1-2 becomes the frame for his calling – to bind up the broken hearted. Dr. Norman Wise was born to help the broken-hearted make sense of chaos.
While it would be impossible to summarize all that Dr. Wise has been called to do, the 30,000-foot view looks like this. He would become a pastor and a counselor who would go on to spend more than 50,000 hours counseling people through doubts and crisis and grief and tragedy and ordinary life struggles and honest questions.
He would be instrumental in the formation of a nonprofit Christian counseling ministry built on the notion that none should be denied spiritual guidance due to a lack of funds.
He would become one of the most popular local pastors to atheists, agnostics and anti-religious folks through something called Socrates Café, a program he utilized to make a safe space for honest questions about Christianity and about life.
He would become a seminary professor to countless students who would ask a zillion questions in classrooms and over countless cups of coffee [including me who still has coffee monthly with Dr. Norm – all these years later].
He would write books and curriculum and workshops, including a book on how to bring order out of chaos in life.
Now, at 71 years old, he is still a full time Pastor of Counseling of Reveal Fellowship of Lake Worth Florida and continues as the Executive Director of Living Water Counseling. All this from a suicidal seven-year-old with a speech impediment and broken family. And, clearly, God’s not done with him yet.
When you ask Norm about his legacy, he lights up like a little kid.
People, particularly Americans, are more concerned about how fast they can get somewhere than they are about where they are going. The apostle Paul talks about life as a race, but he isn’t talking about speed. He’s talking about the deliberateness of our direction. My life changed when I got a clear vision of my gifts and where God was calling me. I am made to use what I have to bind up the broken hearted. I’ve spent my life equipping myself and others to do that. My mission now is to create curriculum and resources and talks that will outlive me to help others with the gifts they have been given. I host a monthly semi-silent retreat to encourage participants to slow down and refocus on what God is calling them to. What will they shed to get there? What will they do to stay on track?
Essentially, his life now is about finishing school. Finishing strong himself and helping others understand that finishing strong is about pursuing a life worthy of our callings all the way to the very end.
Our December Mission
In your mission pack, you have four finish line flags and one “Shed by” sticker. As we approach the finish line of our year, this mission is designed to help us meditate on what it means to finish strong.
Flag 1: Who slowed down and opened the door and drove on with you in tow as you asked a zillion questions this year? Consider using the first finish line sticker to write them a note letting them know how their investment in your spiritual formation made a difference in your life.
Flag 2: Who might you ask to guide you through your spiritual formation and honest questions before we begin 2026? Consider using the second finish line sticker to write them a note asking them to have a cup of coffee and a chat.
Flag 3: Consider selecting a half day this month for a semi-silent retreat. Pray about your calling. Where is God leading you? What three things would you do differently to remain faithful to that direction? If you don’t know where to start, start with your relationships – your calling as a son/daughter, husband/wife, grandparent, sibling, employee, friend, etc. If you are in a relational role, you are called to love well!
Flag 4: Read 1 Cor 9:24-27. Meditate on the phrase “I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air.” In what respect is the direction of your race eclipsed by hurry or unfocused directions?
"Shed by" sticker: Select one thing you will shed by the end of 2025 that will give the direction of your call more sanity. Less chaos. More clarity.
Here's to finishing strong in December and in our lives of faith!
