By Kat Silverglate © 2025
Chocolate.
Our first introduction involved chocolate, her favorite food on the planet. She and her husband, both lawyers, attended a continuing legal education seminar I gave in the 90’s. Hard to remember the year now. With no clue that the woman had a most serious chocolate addiction, I started the class the way I often did -- with bribery.
“My hope is that we can get some discussion going today; so, anybody who so much as clears their throat will get chocolate tossed their way.”
Funny how she suddenly had a keen interest in whatever “riveting” topic was on deck that day. I tossed and she caught and refused to release one dark treat after another.
It was a fitting introduction to a woman who would become one of my dearest friends -- Rebecca Miller Webner -- but candidly, not one I remembered until many years later. At my son’s school, dressed for work trying to squeeze in a room-mom activity before heading to a meeting, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to face a mid-western beauty with a radiant smile and twinkling eyes.
“You wouldn’t happen to be the chocolate-slinging CLE instructor, would ya?”
We giggled like grown girls made-momentarily-little tend to do. We bonded on topics near to our often hurried hearts - carpool, after-care, snack day, PTO.
A soft-spoken, whip-smart real estate lawyer who started her mama ride a bit later than the rest of us, she was one of those all-in, I’m-gonna-savor-every-nano-second-I-can with my only child, kind of mothers. Over the next decade plus, she and a group we now call the Elephant Sisterhood served in every capacity the school would allow without actually charging us part-time tuition.
In her son’s senior year, she developed a pain in her back that wouldn’t go away. When doctors told her the diagnosis was terminal, she looked at ‘em and firmly declared something like this:
“Yes, I might die from this, but not right now. I won’t leave a hole in my son’s heart at this tender age.”
Let’s just say, this wasn’t exactly the story she planned to tell with her one ridiculous life; yet, here she was, living it.
The who, what, where, when and why of the epic that unfolded one day at a time for the next 14 years could fill volumes of books. Her husband was nothing short of selfless in his dedication; her family, tremendous, and her friends, eager to do what they could to walk these difficult miles no matter where they led.
Like female elephants in the wild, her mom-friends surrounded her to kick up dust to distract from “predators” – in this case loneliness, fear, and despair; giving practical help and prayer. Over the next 14 years, she underwent two stem cell transplants, countless procedures, bone rebuilds, surgeries, chemotherapy and was the first to receive CAR T-cell therapy at a world renowned hospital. When in town, those in our friend group had lunch with her roughly monthly until COVID hit and then started a regular zoom call [eventually weekly] where we simply practiced the ministry of presence. We were “with” Rebecca in the mundane and the monumental. Perhaps more, she was with us. Presence became our 14-year rhythm.
That’s the story we wanted friendship to tell.
That’s the story it told.
In that span of time, we became empty nesters, delivered kids to college and jobs and their next places. We had weddings, and big birthdays, got advanced degrees, welcomed grandkids. We cared for and buried parents and friends and relatives. We celebrated jobs and the start of a new ministry [The Ridiculous Hour]. We moved houses and sometimes states. Rebecca was unable to attend many of the monumental milestones due to compromised immunities so “we” did what we could to build digital bridges.
“With” remained the way of this extraordinary friendship.
In that long, consistent amount of time, one observes things that can’t be hidden in short bursts of friendly contact. Over that span of years, months, weeks and days, defenses come down. Facades crack. What’s going on inside surfaces on the out. The story we tell with our lips is eclipsed by the story we “speak” with our actions. What we learned about Rebecca was that the story she told matched the story she lived.
She was consistent.
When it was time to prepare Rebecca’s Celebration of Life service, I called people who knew her at various stages and ages. The astounding thing about every conversation was this -- they all said pretty much the same thing. She was kind beyond measure, gentle but truthful, thoughtful, had peace that made no sense to them, was patient, loving, joyful and forgiving and despite her horrific diagnosis, painful treatment and isolation, she never complained.
She stood in awe at the gift of her life and was grateful to have just one more day. She never focused on her own suffering. She sought to be present with you in yours; to focus on your life and joys and needs. Nearly every conversation reflected the Scripture’s description of evidence of the presence of the Spirit of the Living God in a human – full of peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, faithfulness, kindness, goodness, self-control. Gal 5:22-23.
Presence was the rhythm of Rebecca’s one ridiculous life just as it was for Jesus who came to earth as THE image of the invisible God. Who was called Immanuel -- God with us. Present in the flesh. With us.
Andy Stanley, gave a sermon series years ago about big life decisions and minimizing regrets. He turned the series into a book called Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets. In it, he gives the reader five questions to ask before making decisions. He calls the third one the legacy question -- what story do I WANT my life to tell? The answer to that question allows us to ponder where God is as we pursue a life consistent with our answer. It allows us to ponder whether the story our life is telling by our actions is consistent with the story we say we want to tell. It allows us to consider what we might regret if we stand still or if we go in an unwise direction. It allows us to ask whether our answer is consistent with the Lord's best for us.
What story do YOU want YOUR life to tell? What story is your life telling right now? Such great questions! Often we are afraid to move in the direction God is calling. But what if we knew something in advance? Something that would make us more secure in moving in that direction?
The future chapters of your life are still TO BE READ, yet there is One who is already there waiting for you to respond. Go! Go to Him.
www.theridiculoushour.com; Mobile Mission #69 -- The Story I Want My Life to Tell
Our September 2025 Mission:
Creative teachers and librarians use To Be Read scratch off cards to give kids books to read. Our mail subscribers have a two-sided To Be Read card in their packs this month. If you would like a set of our equipping pieces for this mission, visit our contact page. They'll arrive in your mailbox every 30-days (free) if you tell us you'd like to join this ridiculous adventure monthly. If you'd like this month's pieces as a sample, let us know!
Begin on the back of the TBR card. Write in the white circle a label for the next step or season in your life. Cover what you wrote with the enclosed scratch off sticker. Then flip the card over and scratch off the pre-existing sticker to reveal where God will be in that season or step.
Save the card. When the next step or season begins, scratch off the sticker you placed and put the card in your wallet or purse or car or bathroom or place where you can see it frequently. When you are apprehensive or afraid or paralyzed in moving forward, look at that card. Where is God in your next chapter? Where will He be in the chapter after that?
Our mail recipients also have a piece of stationary in their packs. At the top it has the phrase: “The Story I want my life to tell everywhere always.” Over the next 30 days, write your answer to that question. Let it come out slowly or in a gush. Then ask big regret-minimizing questions: is that consistent with God’s best for me? His Word? Where does my life speak consistently with this? Inconsistently? What action will I take?
The Expanded Audible Version with many voices:
If you’d like to hear the expanded audible version of this story with many voices completing the phrase: "the story I want my life to tell is...," visit the podcast link at the top of this page and look for Episode 69. If you'd like to contribute your voice to this project, begin your recording with the phrase "the story I want my life to tell is..." and send it to us through our contact link at the top of this page.
Dedication:
This Mobile Mission is lovingly dedicated to Rebecca Miller Webner [April 1952 – August 2025] and to her friend group, the Elephant Sisters; who, like elephants in the wild, chose to surround a friend in need to kick up dirt to distract predators and to practice the ministry of presence.
